Pain is much like childbirth. Now, my experiences with childbirth have all been natural, so I'm not really sure what its like when you have medication. Anyway,
When you are in labor, the point right before you are allowed to start pushing is the most painful that labor gets. The combination of pressure and pain is overwhelming. Your body takes over and you have to let your mind and emotions slip back into a coma-like state for a short period just to make it through. You fully believe you are going to die, that something's gone wrong, that you are never going to deliver this baby -- because it hurts so much. And your body kicks in and pushes your brain back and focuses your energy on bringing that baby into the world. There is something that changes in a woman during that much pain -- its hard to describe as anything other than a survival instinct. Basically, your body knows that to live it has to deliver this baby. And if you don't, you and that baby will possibly die. And it takes over and does what it needs to do.
A similar picture would be instances in movies that are repeated by action films and dramas alike. There is a point that you fully believe that the hero is going to die. He's taken a few gunshots, he is bleeding profusely, he can hardly stand and he's holding his guts in with his free hand. The hero slides across the floor as the villan laughs, about to kill his (best friend, daughter, wife, whatever) and the camera angle shifts and suddenly you see that hero stand up and shoot the villan. The villan dies and the hero falls over and passes out from the sheer effort. Its a survival instinct - its that thing inside you that says "if I don't do this, we're all gonna die." It surpasses your pain and your ability and taps into a hidden reserve just long enough to get it done.
Pain is something we all face. Alot of situations get worse and worse until we just can't stand it anymore and we're doing all we can do to get up in the morning and remember to take a shower or feed the dog before we leave for work. Things slip - you forget to haul off the trash, you forget to pay the bills, you don't have the energy to mow the lawn - but you're doing your absolute best because life is so much, so painful, that you've tapped into that hidden reserve to make it through until things get better. You're surviving.
God gave us that hidden reserve and that ability to distance ourselves as a protective mechanism from occasional things that happen that really are just too much. But many times we stay in survival mode and we never step back into the fullness that life is meant to be. You make plenty of money at your new job but you're still always stressed out that last few days before payday. You're out of that bad relationship but it still frightens you when you pass a car like the one he drives. You are stuck surviving because that's what you've been doing for so long. You go to church on Sunday morning and pray for Christ to return soon because you don't know how much longer you can take all this corruption in the school system.
God wants us to remember that life isn't about surviving. We are warriors. And sometimes, warriors survive. But warriors that only survive aren't called warriors -- they're called survivors. Warriors go out against the battle and fight back. So your financial life is upside down - actively look for a resolution, don't lie down and cry about it. Your out of a bad relationship - good! Move on! You hate the teacher that told your child God was a myth for old fogies -- tell them that you don't want them instilling those teachings in your child and change teachers or schools if needbe!
Don't just survive -- Go out there and take back our territory!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Past Pain
Every now and then something pops to the surface from deep within and you step back and say "wow. I didn't realize that still hurt so much." Tonight I had one of those instances.
My parents didn't like my choice of a husband and did everything in their influence and power to prevent our marriage down to the day of the wedding. It was a nasty fight for a while which even caused my relationship with my parents to be completely non-existent for a solid 4 months post-wedding. When my brother got married (4 years after Brent and I) to a wonderful woman whom we all love, my parents made a big to-do over giving their blessing to the happy couple. And in the process realized they'd never given their verbal blessing to our marriage and gave it over dinner the night before my brother's rehearsal dinner.
Tonight as I chatted with my sister in law about various things, this rose to the surface, rearing its ugly head as un-resolved hurts. How could they be so mean as to never give us their blessing until they felt bad about it? How could they be that disappointed in someone who makes me so happy? What's the deal with that? And although they've apologized for it taking so long, I still have some healing to do.
Its like this cut that I have on my arm. I bumped into the corner of a desk and scraped a pretty deep little cut into my forearm. Now initially, it hurt and I put a bandage over it to protect myself. Over time it healed up some, but there was a scab on it that (at some point) got ripped off by brushing into something. While the scab needs to come off eventually for the healing to finish, that can really hurt.
Sometimes when God is helping you heal from something, it hurts. Sometimes you don't even realize you haven't finished healing until you have that scab removed and you suddenly hurt again.
And then, after the pain subsides some, theres a scar.
Because lets face it. Just because its not bleeding, and just because the pain is a faint memory down the road of life doesn't mean it didn't happen. You still see that scar from time to time and remember the way you got it and do your best to avoid the situation in future.
For instance, when I was 15 (I'm 24 now) I went surfing with some friends. I hadn't been surfing in this strip of beach before and the undertow (current) was very strong that day. A big gush of wind came and we were swept down the beach and into the pier. Now, at home the piers are big and tall, built on top of huge pillars. Down in the water the pillars are covered with oysters and clams and other shelled creatures. In the midst of trying to get to shore and staying above water and not drowning, my legs were cut to pieces on the shells attached to these pillars. To this day I still have the scars on the backs of my knees.
That was a long time ago. My legs healed up and I went back to life 9 years ago. But today I still remember who I was with, what I was wearing, and where we were.
Just because we are called to forgive those who do wrong against us doesn't mean we are expected to forget what happened. When someone wrongs you, don't hold it over their heads and hate them forever, but be intelligent about it. I think people mis-understand what Jesus meant when he said to turn the other cheek and to pray for those who persecute you. He didn't say to forget that they slapped you. He just says to love them anyway.
My parents didn't like my choice of a husband and did everything in their influence and power to prevent our marriage down to the day of the wedding. It was a nasty fight for a while which even caused my relationship with my parents to be completely non-existent for a solid 4 months post-wedding. When my brother got married (4 years after Brent and I) to a wonderful woman whom we all love, my parents made a big to-do over giving their blessing to the happy couple. And in the process realized they'd never given their verbal blessing to our marriage and gave it over dinner the night before my brother's rehearsal dinner.
Tonight as I chatted with my sister in law about various things, this rose to the surface, rearing its ugly head as un-resolved hurts. How could they be so mean as to never give us their blessing until they felt bad about it? How could they be that disappointed in someone who makes me so happy? What's the deal with that? And although they've apologized for it taking so long, I still have some healing to do.
Its like this cut that I have on my arm. I bumped into the corner of a desk and scraped a pretty deep little cut into my forearm. Now initially, it hurt and I put a bandage over it to protect myself. Over time it healed up some, but there was a scab on it that (at some point) got ripped off by brushing into something. While the scab needs to come off eventually for the healing to finish, that can really hurt.
Sometimes when God is helping you heal from something, it hurts. Sometimes you don't even realize you haven't finished healing until you have that scab removed and you suddenly hurt again.
And then, after the pain subsides some, theres a scar.
Because lets face it. Just because its not bleeding, and just because the pain is a faint memory down the road of life doesn't mean it didn't happen. You still see that scar from time to time and remember the way you got it and do your best to avoid the situation in future.
For instance, when I was 15 (I'm 24 now) I went surfing with some friends. I hadn't been surfing in this strip of beach before and the undertow (current) was very strong that day. A big gush of wind came and we were swept down the beach and into the pier. Now, at home the piers are big and tall, built on top of huge pillars. Down in the water the pillars are covered with oysters and clams and other shelled creatures. In the midst of trying to get to shore and staying above water and not drowning, my legs were cut to pieces on the shells attached to these pillars. To this day I still have the scars on the backs of my knees.
That was a long time ago. My legs healed up and I went back to life 9 years ago. But today I still remember who I was with, what I was wearing, and where we were.
Just because we are called to forgive those who do wrong against us doesn't mean we are expected to forget what happened. When someone wrongs you, don't hold it over their heads and hate them forever, but be intelligent about it. I think people mis-understand what Jesus meant when he said to turn the other cheek and to pray for those who persecute you. He didn't say to forget that they slapped you. He just says to love them anyway.
Monday, March 21, 2011
CrossRoads
Everyone has come to a point at one time or another when they have to make a decision. A crossroads. A potentially life-changing choice. Most people don't consider the fact that your decision has already been made. Freewill vs. Predestinaton has been one of the longest standing debates as far as Christianity is concerned. But honestly, regardless of the side you stand on - be it that your decision has already been made and you're destined to make it, or that you are totally in control of your own destiny - or anywhere in between - God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (that means you!) and God is all-knowing and is not bound by time (so He's in the past and present and future and has already seen what you're gonna do)
The reason I bring all this confusing predestination and omnipotence to the topic of conversation is to bring you a beacon of light and peace when you have to make a decision. We hold these truths to our hearts and maybe we can keep our heads while we make huge decisions (or even just the little ones)
1) God has plans for you (good plans, I promise!). God is all powerful, all knowing, and has your best at heart. Regardless of how you want to screw up your own life, God will work it out in the end. So even if you choose "wrong" God is already in that decision and is already walking through that with you to restore it to your full potential
2) God has one of these decisions that He favors. There is a "right" thing to do in every situation. The trick is seeing God - seeing what He wants and where He wants you. Its not that your doomed if you don't choose right - but these type things are important in the long run and if you follow God's first choice, things will be much easier.
Lets consider Jonah: ok its pretty much an aknowledged
fact that Jonah chose wrong. God said go to Ninevah,
Jonah went to Tarshish. However you want to break it
all down with the technical stuff the fact is that
God's first choice was for Jonah to obey. But since
Jonah didn't obey from the get-go, God used the story
of a Whale to teach both Jonah and us that God forgives
us and meets us where we are - that God makes
everything work out.
3) God will make it evident to you what the thing to do is. He isn't some mean badguy waiting up there with lightning bolts to zap you if you pick wrong. Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you!!
So suck it up, pray hard, and make your choice with confidence in the fact that yours steps are being guided
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Sickness
This weekend, my oldest and youngest are battling a tummy flu. Alina (4 years) is throwing up pretty regularly and the baby (Judah) has had gut wrenching tummy aches causing him to writhe and scream quite a bit. And the strange thing that occurs to me? (thanks, God, some sense of humor!) Alina's puke is not so gross!! Ok just go with me on this one.
Something about caring for sick people is different than seeing the byproduct of illness apart from the one who is sick. If you simply step in a pile of throw-up, you are disgusted. If you see a child or person you love who is throwing up its different. You aren't concerned with the smell or sight of what's happening, you are drawn to how you can help, what can you do to make them feel better? Do you want something to drink? Can i get you a fresh t-shirt? Let me wash that.
It occurs to me in this that God feels similarly about us. Picture our sins - even the "big bad" ones as vomit. God is disgusted by homosexuality, murder, lying, even leaving out the truth. God thinks it looks and smells nasty and wants nothing to do with it. But when he looks at us, sick with those very things, those are no longer his concern. He is no longer caught up in how he feels about it, but simply how He can love on us, how He can make us feel better.
I've heard all kinds of analogies about sin but I think this is the simplest way to put it. Its not that we like puke, its that we love the person who is puking.
Something about caring for sick people is different than seeing the byproduct of illness apart from the one who is sick. If you simply step in a pile of throw-up, you are disgusted. If you see a child or person you love who is throwing up its different. You aren't concerned with the smell or sight of what's happening, you are drawn to how you can help, what can you do to make them feel better? Do you want something to drink? Can i get you a fresh t-shirt? Let me wash that.
It occurs to me in this that God feels similarly about us. Picture our sins - even the "big bad" ones as vomit. God is disgusted by homosexuality, murder, lying, even leaving out the truth. God thinks it looks and smells nasty and wants nothing to do with it. But when he looks at us, sick with those very things, those are no longer his concern. He is no longer caught up in how he feels about it, but simply how He can love on us, how He can make us feel better.
I've heard all kinds of analogies about sin but I think this is the simplest way to put it. Its not that we like puke, its that we love the person who is puking.
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